Soft boiled eggs are the biggest pain in the ass

I’m such a huge fan of eggs with runny insides. Break that bad boy open and you can dip your toast, homefries, or even side fruits into the yolk. Awww yiss. My favorite ways to prepare them are poached and soft boiled. I don’t like to poach eggs myself because they always end up breaking or getting watery. I thought I’d found the holy grail when I discovered soft boiled eggs. It comes out almost exactly the same in half the time, and the results are delicious, but…

Oh my god how do you peel these mother fuckers?!

I mean it. There’s no foolproof way to get the eggs out of their shell whole. I’ve tried just about everything: adding the eggs once the water boils. Adding the eggs before it comes to a boil. Extra vinegar. No vinegar. Running under cold water. Throwing them into an ice bath. Beginning the peeling process from the bottom of the egg. NOTHING WORKS.

I honestly think these tasty soft boiled eggs are trying to spite me. Exhibit A: In one batch, I made two eggs. One peeled with no problems, the other wouldn’t separate from the shell as if it were the egg’s soulmate. Both were cooked the exact same way and peeled using the exact same process.

Cocky little assholes. Pun intended.

So give me your advice. With a soft inside to be mindful of, what’s your best method for peeling eggs?

Soft boiled eggs are the biggest pain in the ass