Soft boiled eggs are the biggest pain in the ass

I’m such a huge fan of eggs with runny insides. Break that bad boy open and you can dip your toast, homefries, or even side fruits into the yolk. Awww yiss. My favorite ways to prepare them are poached and soft boiled. I don’t like to poach eggs myself because they always end up breaking or getting watery. I thought I’d found the holy grail when I discovered soft boiled eggs. It comes out almost exactly the same in half the time, and the results are delicious, but…

Oh my god how do you peel these mother fuckers?!

I mean it. There’s no foolproof way to get the eggs out of their shell whole. I’ve tried just about everything: adding the eggs once the water boils. Adding the eggs before it comes to a boil. Extra vinegar. No vinegar. Running under cold water. Throwing them into an ice bath. Beginning the peeling process from the bottom of the egg. NOTHING WORKS.

I honestly think these tasty soft boiled eggs are trying to spite me. Exhibit A: In one batch, I made two eggs. One peeled with no problems, the other wouldn’t separate from the shell as if it were the egg’s soulmate. Both were cooked the exact same way and peeled using the exact same process.

Cocky little assholes. Pun intended.

So give me your advice. With a soft inside to be mindful of, what’s your best method for peeling eggs?

Soft boiled eggs are the biggest pain in the ass

Sweet Egg Salad

Summer is the best time of year for cold, light foods. Which is why egg salad is one of my favorite go-to meals starting around June. It’s great at picnics, barbecues, or even on your favorite bagel in the morning. The best part is the versatility; I use whatever leftover vegetables can go in, ranging from celery to onions to bell peppers to carrots to lettuce.

There’s two secrets to this recipe that make it a light, tasty lunch: allowing the egg salad to sit in the fridge overnight and the addition of lemon juice.

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I had always been cautious when I read egg salad recipes online that mention lemon juice. It always seemed like an odd combination to me, even though hollandaise is one of my top 5 favorite sauces. I tried it this time though since my ex had a lemon in the fridge that was near-death, and I really hated to see it go to waste. It made all the difference though, giving the salad subtle sweetness and making the dish less heavy.

I also advocate quick and easy cooking, so of course I had some of the egg salad after I made it. It came out good. I put it back in the fridge for the night, planning to add it to my toast the next day. When I ate it today? OH MY GOD. It made such a huge difference allowing the flavors from the bell pepper, onion, lemon and thyme to come together for 10-20 hours. You don’t have to do it, but I highly recommend it.

I’m not exactly a food photographer. Here’s another angle? Idk.

I’m always looking to improve my egg salad, so tell me! What’s your favorite egg salad recipe? What’s your must-have ingredient?

Sweet Egg Salad
By: Me

Total prep and cook time: 25 minutes
Serves: 2
Dishes used: 1 small saucepot (no need to wash, it’s just water going in), 1 bowl or tupperware container, 1 small cutting board

4 Eggs
1/4 Cups mayonnaise
1 Tsp. mustard (dijon or yellow)
1 Tbsp. red onion, diced
1/8 Cups red bell pepper, diced
1 Tbsp. Lemon juice
1/4 Tsp. Salt
1/4 Tsp. Pepper
1/4 Tsp. Thyme (dried or fresh)

1. Put the eggs into a saucepan and add enough water to just cover the eggs. Boil on high heat, and cook for 10 minutes. Drain the hot water, then immediately add cold water and ice to the saucepot. Pop in the refrigerator until the eggs are cold, or about 10 minutes.
2. Peel the eggs and chop coarsely. Add red onion, mayonnaise, mustard, red pepper, lemon juice, salt, pepper and thyme. Mix until well combined.
3. OPTIONAL: For best results, leave in the fridge overnight to allow flavors to marry.

Sweet Egg Salad